U
unbiased
1. The professional fairness of a journalist to disseminate statements made by the Bush Administration to the public without contaminating them with differing opinions, context, or reality checks.
See also: bias |
United Nations
1. A world government made up of foreigners bent on imposing its will on sovereign nations primarily by seeking to inhibit the United States from imposing its good will on sovereign nations. |
United States of America
1. Our nation, the land of which was first settled in the 1500s by European explorers, whose colonies were threatened by savage invaders who viciously occupied the land tens of thousands of years before the Europeans arrived. The nation was eventually formed in 1776 by the Founding Fathers with the Declaration of Independence and subsequent Constitution, in order to establish a modern democracy ruled with the consent of the governed.
2. A nation with the unprecedented record of never having done a single thing wrong in its entire history of over 200 years. Considering this remarkable achievement, it is suspected by many historians that the United States is somehow incapable of making a mistake or acting out of reasons other than pure benevolence and good intentions due to its divine perfection, similar to the inability of God to sin as it would be a contradiction in terms. So infallible is our nation, that actions that may seem wrong or unjust at the time of their occurrence actually become good and righteous by virtue of having been done by the United States. |
uniter (not a divider)
1. A person with the charismatic ability to unite half of America's population behind policies opposed by the other half and approximately 5 billion people around the world. |
unity
1. The state of a nation when a vast majority of its people (51%) stand together to patriotically support their leader in difficult times of change.
2. A state of respectful coexistence among politicians across the nation, which is best achieved, according to great conservative strategist Grover Norquist, by "trying to change the tones in the state capitols - and turn them toward bitter nastiness and partisanship." |
universal healthcare (or national healthcare, or socialized medicine)
1. A domestic socialist plot to reduce the profits of patriotic health insurance corporations, and enslave middle and lower class Americans under a tyrannical government by forcing them to receive affordable healthcare regardless of their income.
To help minimize public support for this diabolical agenda, the term "socialized medicine" is preferred as it effectively utilizes the word "socialism" to create equivalence in the minds of Americans between affordable healthcare and America's greatest modern enemy, the evil communist empire of the Soviet Union. |
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