T
Taliban
1. The former Afghani regime removed by the United States, which drew the wrath of God for ruling their nation with a government based on Islamic fundamentalism instead of Christian fundamentalism. |
tax
1. A form of legalized theft practiced by the federal and local governments when taking Americans' hard-earned money and wasting it away on useless programs such as local law enforcement, road construction, public schools, hospitals, emergency medical services, fire departments, foreign intelligence operations, the most powerful military in the world, safety review of food and prescription drugs, prevention of deadly pollution, medical research, the preservation of national parks, higher education, social security benefits, and the basic infrastructure of government itself.
See also: progressive tax |
Ten Commandments, The
1. The laws handed down by God to Moses on Mount Sinai. The exact wording of the Ten Commandments varies with different versions of the Bible, but the spirit of each law remains clear. They are as follows:
I. Thou shalt not have any other gods besides me and, if you have the means, Mammon.
II. Thou shalt not make for thyself any graven image, unless it looks like the Ten Commandments and is placed on public property.
III. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, unless it is used to energize the Republican base.
IV. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. You may however force employees to work on Sunday while you enjoy your day of rest.
V. Honor thy father and mother by toppling dictators whom they left in power.
VI. Thou shalt not kill unborn children. However, the wholesale slaughter of post-unborn innocent people of all ages and races all over the world in order to achieve geopolitical goals is acceptable and even encouraged.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery while being a member of the Democratic Party.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal from the rich by taxing them.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor has vast oil resources.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, thy neighbor's goods, or anything of thy neighbors, except thy neighbor's oil and cheap labor.
XI. Thou shalt not be gay. (From the Expanded Pro-Family Edition) |
terrorism (or terror)
1. The unconventional method of military engagement that involves the targeting of civilian populations in order to undermine democracy, freedom, capitalism, Christianity, and other values typically held by Republicans.
2. Within the United States, domestic aggression such as plots to harm or kill civilians, or political speech critical of the U.S. government.
Suggested article: President Bush and the War on Terror |
terrorist
1. A person who engages in armed aggression or political speech to further an agenda in opposition to the U.S. government. |
terrorist threat level
1. Developed by the Bush Administration, a color-coded indicator illustrating the current threat of terrorist attacks faced by the United States. The terrorist threat level is determined by many factors including analysis of terrorism-related intelligence, varying degrees of terrorist activity, and variations in public approval ratings of Republican leadership, all which require constant monitoring and, if necessary, decisive action in order to prevent catastrophe. |
think tank (or corporate think tank)
1. A policy institution such as the Competitive Enterprise Institute, the Heritage Foundation, and the Cato Institute, which are funded by large corporations, but lobby government to enact policies for the benefit everyday working-class Americans.
One of the most celebrated think tanks is Citizens for a Sound Economy (CSE), also known as FreedomWorks, which promotes their "freedom agenda" by fighting for lower taxes, small government, tort reform, social security privatization, and of course, "more freedom." FreedomWorks' freedomness is super-freedomized for maximum freedomification. |
tort reform
1. The agenda of limiting punitive legal rewards paid by harmful corporations in such a way as to keep their legal costs lower than the cost of actually preventing harm.
2. The agenda of improving our legal system by placing restrictions on the ability of individual American citizens to file lawsuits against corporations in order to prevent them from selfishly profiting from the death, disease, and injury caused by industrial pollution or harmful products such as defective prescription drugs. |
torture
1. An unfortunate but necessary method of extracting information from prisoners taken during the War on Terror to ensure that the United States stands victorious, and with it, freedom and human dignity.
2. A highly effective and reliable method of interrogation practiced on difficult prisoners designed to extract their admission to being members of Al Qaeda, terrorist spies, the second gunman on the grassy knoll, Napoleon Bonaparte, Mary Poppins, or any other secrets suspected by the keen intuition of the interrogators.
3. A method of interrogation ordered by the Pentagon and CIA to be performed by U.S. soldiers on America's enemies in order to ensure that America's enemies provide humane treatment to captured U.S. soldiers.
4. One of many quality enterprises exported by the United States to countries like Egypt and Uzbekistan in the spirit of free trade. |
town hall meeting
1. A relaxed format for questions and answers held by President Bush when traveling around the country to discuss issues directly with everyday Americans in order to circumvent the filter of the liberal media. Audience members may be required to sign loyalty oaths to the President prior to attending, submit all questions in advance for approval, and remove any clothing containing offensive language such as "peace on earth" and "protect our civil liberties" in order to preserve the candid honesty of the event and ensure that attendees know that President Bush respects all points of view.
Suggested reading: The Bush Administration's Covert Propaganda |
traitor
1. A person who provides aid and comfort to enemies of the United States in a time of war in the form of armed aggression, financial assistance, valuable intelligence, or dangerous political speech such as reporting civilian and military casualties.
2. A member of the Republican Party who defies the party leadership through action or speech. |
treason
1. Any act or speech in opposition to the U.S. government in a time of war with the purpose of aiding the enemy, such as reading the Constitution and comparing it to current government policy. |
treaty
1. An agreement reached by two or more nations which may be abandoned as soon as it becomes inconvenient for geopolitical purposes or has the potential to negatively affect the profits of U.S. corporations.
Suggested article: President Bush and Foreign Policy |
Turd Blossom
1. A nickname bestowed upon Karl Rove by George W. Bush. Bush is known for assigning nicknames to many people, sometimes derogatory, and even has a nickname for his close friend God, to whom he refers as The Almighty. Rove has also been called "The Architect" and "Boy Genius" by President Bush as references to his political genius and impressive campaign tactics. [Suggested by Geoffrey Walker of Phoenix, AZ]
In nature, "turd blossom" is a Texas term for a flower that grows out of cow dung, which bears no metaphorical similarity whatsoever to Rove's skill in presenting Bush's agenda to the American public. |
two-party system
1. The flawed system of American politics which allows the Democratic Party to obstruct Republican judicial nominees and occasionally disagree with Republican policies. However, the two-party system has been highly successful at silencing the dangerous and radical agendas of third parties like the Green Party and Reform Party, and creating the necessary illusion that significant differences of opinion exist within the U.S. government to appease the difficult American public. |
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