S
S.U.V. (sport utility vehicle)
1. A patriotic form of transportation, frequently displaying a "support the troops" bumpersticker, which proudly gives soldiers their purpose to fight for oil overseas by consuming as much fuel as possible when driving to the mall.
2. A mobile surface for the application of Bush/Cheney campaign stickers.
3. A vehicle designed to protect its passengers during a collision and kill everyone else around them. |
Saddam Hussein
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his involvement in the attacks of September 11, 2001.
Revision 1
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his relationship with Al Qaeda.
Revision 2
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his possession of weapons of mass destruction.
Revision 3
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his weapons of mass destruction programs.
Revision 4
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his "weapons of mass destruction related program activities."
Revision 5
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his oppression of the Iraqi people.
Revision 6 (for future release)
1. Former dictator of Iraq who was removed by the United States for his support of Iran's weapons of mass destruction programs and his harboring of Syrian terrorists.
See also: Operation Iraqi Freedom |
same-sex marriage
1. A primary goal of the radical anti-family homosexual agenda to destroy traditional marriage and families. By attempting to secure the "right" to marry each other, homosexuals would bring about the fall of Western Civilization by causing married couples all over the country to stop loving one another and abandon their children. This agenda must therefore be met with a campaign to defend marriage. More than terrorism, this agenda is the greatest threat to our nation. |
Schiavo, Terri
1. According to a heartfelt Republican talking points memo, "a great political issue." |
secularism
1. The Godless liberal notion that the U.S. government should function independent of God's will, and that the authority of church and state should somehow be separated. |
security
See national security |
separation of church and state
1. A strict tenet of the Constitution preventing the federal government from endorsing a pagan religion.
2. A prohibition of state and public schools from endorsing the religious beliefs of evolution.
3. The exemption of faith-based institutions from paying taxes while receiving taxpayer funding. |
separation of powers
1. A construct of government established in the Constitution intended to prevent unchecked government power by placing control of the misguided judicial and legislative branches under the control of a moral and just executive branch such as the Bush Administration.
2. The separation of the judicial and legislative functions of government into separate branches mandated by the Constitution in order to inhibit their ability to oppose the power of a strong executive branch.
3. The separation of government into three branches in order to maintain a system of checks and balances between the oil industry, which controls the White House, the pharmaceutical and credit card industries, which control Congress, and Dr. James Dobson of Focus On The Family, who controls the judiciary. |
September 11, 2001 (or 9-11)
1. The date of the most devastating terrorist attack in the history of the United States. This attack took the lives of over 2,700 innocent people and united Americans behind President George W. Bush and his campaign of war, which has taken the lives of a few hundred terrorists, and over 100,000 more innocent people who probably would've become terrorists anyway.
See also: Operation Iraqi Freedom, War on Terror |
sex education
1. A facet of the liberal agenda within our public schools, supposedly to teach children about puberty, sexually transmitted diseases, and pregnancy in order to prevent diseases like AIDS and unwanted teen pregnancy, but is in fact a campaign to corrupt America's youth by forcing public schools to teach and encourage oral sex, anal sex, and other deviant sexual acts condemned by God. |
Shepard, Matthew
1. A young homosexual man from Wyoming who was beaten to death in 1998. Details of the events leading up to his death vary with testimony, but it is clear that Shepard received a ride from two young men who he tried to recruit into the homosexual ranks. Unfortunately, the only means of defense the two men had against Shepard's dangerous onslaught was the use of deadly force. Thanks to the famous pro-family activist Reverend Fred Phelps, we know that Matthew Shepard "entered Hell October 12, 1998, in Defiance of God's Warning: 'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind; it is abomination.' Leviticus 18:22." |
small government
1. An efficient form of government supported by Republicans with the intent to keep meddling government bureaucrats out of the lives of everyday Americans like Pfizer, Viacom, and ExxonMobil who only wish to go about their harmless daily business of disseminating drugs to the public, conglomerating the news into fewer voices, and releasing toxic pollution into the air and water.
2. A policy of government promoted by Republicans to ensure that the power of elected officials and government agencies does not interfere with the power of unelected CEOs.
3. A form of government designed to encourage charitable giving among the wealthy by cutting and eliminating funding for social programs, healthcare, and education.
4. A government with reduced power over corporations with regard to regulation, oversight, and taxes, and increased power over individual citizens with regard to searches, seizures, and detainment without due process.
See also: big government |
socialism
1. An economic theory originally conceived in the mind of the Archangel Satan, which prompted his rebellion against God and the capitalist utopia of Heaven. Though Satan was defeated and banished to Hell, socialism has spread to the mortal world through his influence and has infected many nations and people with the wicked idea that the economy should be run for the benefit of the vast majority instead of a small deserving elite.
See also: labor union |
socialized medicine
See universal healthcare |
social security
1. A government welfare program that has successfully paid modest retirement benefits for millions of elderly Americans for over seventy years, which has allowed them to retire with dignity and prevent them from being afflicted with abject poverty when they become unable to work. However, since its inception, Wall Street brokerage firms have been unjustly denied the opportunity to make billions off of this program. Therefore, social security is in crisis and must be immediately privatized, even if this results in reduced benefits for senior citizens and trillions of dollars of government debt incurred by the cost of transitioning to private accounts.
See also: social security privatization |
social security privatization
1. A policy promoted by the Bush Administration to ensure the comfort and well being of retired Wall Street executives in their twilight years by transforming social security into a system of private accounts.*
2. The goal of the Bush Administration to allow Americans to take more control over their own retirement by allowing them to invest their social security funds in the stock market, which has always been a reliable and unwavering source of wealth creation throughout American history.
*The term "personal savings accounts" is preferred when discussing social security privatization in order to dampen public concern over the motivations for the plan. |
soft money
1. Large sums of money given by labor unions and other left-leaning organizations to the Democratic Party purportedly for voter education and registration, which are instead unethically funneled to support political campaigns.
For money given to the Republican Party by corporations, see campaign contribution. |
sovereign
1. The state of a nation when independent of outside rule, and cooperatively doing the bidding of the United States for economic reasons or threat of U.S. invasion. |
special interest group
1. A group of individuals representing the fringe ideals of a small number of people who lobby government in the hopes of securing legislation favorable to their agenda, such as the fringe radical extremist agendas of preventing harm to the environment and public health, and preserving civil rights. |
special privileges
1. Special or preferred treatment, frequently in matters of law, sought after by fringe groups of people in order to secure rights and privileges beyond those enjoyed by other citizens, such as the homosexual campaign to gain the special privilege of being allowed to marry.
See also: affirmative action |
states' rights
1. The freedom of individual states to determine their own laws when not in conflict with the law of the federal government, most famously when southern states desired to preserve the stability of their communities when enforcing segregation between races. When states abuse this freedom, as when state governments allow same-sex marriage or the medical use of marijuana, it is the duty of the federal government to expand its power as needed to nullify such state laws with Constitutional amendments or other acts of Congress. |
stay the course
1. An act of resolve, especially in a time of war to proceed with current military strategy despite how it may endanger the mission, U.S. soldiers, and civilians, in order to preserve faith in national leaders. |
straight shooter
1. Slang. A person with the strength of character to speak the simple truth without concern for whom it may offend. It is purely a coincidence that a similar manner of speaking is typical of those who are not necessarily strong of character, but rather simple-minded individuals incapable of complex thoughts. |
support the troops
1. The act of supporting without question or qualification any and all situations in which the U.S. government sends soldiers into harm's way.* **
*The phrase support the troops should not be confused with liberal efforts to provide a living wage to low-income soldiers, provide sufficient protective gear to soldiers in war zones, prevent supposedly "unnecessary" war, protect funds for military housing, or adequately fund veteran's healthcare.
**Upon returning from conflict and frequently during their service, many troops fail to support themselves by asking questions about the conflict and expressing doubts regarding its justification. These troops are cowards and traitors.
Suggested article: Support the Troops |
sweatshop
1. The unfair liberal label given to a facility for the assembly of products, usually garments, most often located in a third world country or U.S. territory and owned by a U.S. corporation.
2. A place of work in which the poor local population of all ages enjoys the right to work long hours, receive enough pay to barely or almost survive, and enjoy the benefits of police protection against dangerous labor union propaganda.
3. Happy places of work where simple indigenous peoples sing songs of gratitude to benevolent factory bosses as they assemble sweaters featuring the adorable Mickey Mouse, the latest hot styles from The Gap, and many products bound for the low, low prices of Wal-Mart. |
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth
1. A group of veterans who served near Senator John Kerry in the Vietnam War. The Swift Boat Veterans released an ad (patriotically funded by the largest Republican donor in Texas) that exposed Senator Kerry's fraudulent war record and cast doubt on two of his three Purple Hearts and one of his decorations for bravery. Their account, while differing from the accounts of others who served with Kerry, and sometimes differing with their own, clearly established the inferiority of Senator Kerry's wartime bravery when compared to George W. Bush's highly decorated and dangerous enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard, a position which he received by a spectacular stroke of luck without any assistance whatsoever from his father's powerful political connections. |
Syria
1. An Islamic nation in the Middle East ruled by an oppressive regime that threatens its neighbors and the United States by harboring terrorists and developing weapons of mass destruction. It may become necessary to carry out military strikes against Syria to destroy its weapons of mass destruction, remove the despotic regime from power, and bring freedom to its people.
See also: Iran, Iraq |
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