P
pacifist
1. A person who naively believes that peace can be achieved without war. |
Palestine
1. A stateless horde of barbarians in the Middle East bent on terrorizing the peaceful state of Israel by killing Israeli soldiers and innocent civilians, and damaging construction equipment by building their homes in the path of Israeli bulldozers. |
Patriot Act (USA PATRIOT Act)
1. A law championed by Attorney General John Ashcroft and passed by Congress, the details of which are irrelevant, written by patriots who love freedom, which strengthens the United States in the face of the terrorist threat. Criticism of the Patriot Act is a favorite pastime of liberal intellectuals who seek to provide aid and comfort to America's enemies by reading it. Such treasonous activity has caused over 300 communities across America, including three state legislatures, to pass resolutions challenging the law.
Suggested articles: John Ashcroft and the War on American Freedom, Justice Department Introduces Mom and Apple Pie Act |
patriotism
1. The admirable quality of supporting the U.S. government when under Republican leadership, especially in a time of war, without question or qualification.
2. The celebrated characteristic of having the correct notion that the United States is the best country in the world and incapable of doing wrong, willfully ignoring news and other information that may challenge this notion, and screaming as loudly as possible in order to prevent conflicting opinions from liberal America-haters from being heard.
3. The quality of standing up for the United States and supporting the troops, which requires no civic action whatsoever beyond the placement of a bumpersticker on the rear face of an automobile, preferably an S.U.V. |
peace
1. The absence of war, the great and ultimate goal of all civilized nations, which is most efficiently endeavored with the wholesale slaughter all those who disagree with the United States and its allies in order to eliminate the differences of opinion that invariably cause conflict. |
personal responsibility
1. A principle encouraged of middle and lower-class Americans to accept responsibility for any number of personal problems that include unemployment, drug addiction, personal injury resulting from harmful products, disease and death caused by industrial pollution, and accept the idea that they should receive no assistance for either. |
Plame, Valerie
1. A covert agent of the CIA and wife of America-hater Joseph Wilson, who worked within the intelligence agency to undermine President Bush's campaign against terror. Plame was courageously exposed by members of the Bush Administration such as Karl Rove when leaking her name and CIA role to brave reporters. |
political correctness
1. An agenda pursued by Liberals to censor any and all statements that may offend minorities and/or women, which in turn results in a constricted dialogue of why minorities and women are inferior to white men.
For statements that may offend Republicans, see hate speech. |
politics
1. According to conservative activist David Horowitz, the continuation of war by other means. |
pollution
1. An unfortunate but necessary byproduct of beneficial industry in productive societies which may result in minimal aesthetic changes to the environment, but causes no harm whatsoever to the health of human beings, animals, plants, or the natural environment in any way, shape, or form. The problem of pollution is best handled by the polluting industry, which is eager and willing to cut their short-term profit margins in order to reduce harmful emissions, as long as they are permitted to do so without government oversight.
Suggested article: President Bush and the Environment |
post-war plan
1. A prescribed course of action to be taken after the conclusion of military operations to secure stability and peace. By definition, a post-war plan should not be discussed or formed until after the war at hand. |
poverty
1. A financial condition of persons, most frequently by choice, in which they are unable or barely able to meet the basic needs of nutrition and housing for themselves and their families. The problem of poverty is best confronted with tax breaks to wealthy individuals and large corporations. |
preemptive strike
1. A new tool of U.S. foreign policy legitimized by the Bush Administration which allows the United States to start a war and still claim self-defense. In order to launch a preemptive war, evidence of a threat to the United States is not needed, nor in fact desired, because nobody wants such evidence to be a mushroom cloud. |
press conference (White House press conference)
1. An event in which reporters are invited to the White House in order to record and disseminate the latest fair and balanced press message from the White House. The White House does not discriminate against any journalists who are capable of understanding this purpose, including those who aren't actually journalists, work for a partisan Republican organization, prefer to use a fake name, and were involved in gay prostitution.
See also: Guckert, James |
privatization
1. The agenda of removing control of various industries and agencies such as public education and military operations from the hands of inefficient elected entities and transferring it to unelected, unaccountable, but completely trustworthy and super-efficient for-profit corporations. |
pro-business
1. An economic philosophy typical of Republicans, which mandates that all domestic economic legislation facilitate the ability of corporations to increase their profit at the expense of their workers, consumers, and the environment in order to create a healthy economy, which will benefit all Americans. [Submitted by Jwdawg33] |
pro-choice (or anti-life)
1. The selfish preference of many promiscuous, lazy women and rape victims to kill rather than raise their children.
See also: pro-life |
pro-family
See family values |
pro-life
1. The opinion that unborn children must be legally protected from harmful decisions made by their mothers. These harmful decisions include those taken to prevent harm and/or death to the mother.* **
*Consistent with the Republican agenda of dismantling social services, public healthcare, and education programs, proposed legal protection for the well-being and health of children should end at the instant of their birth.
**The term "pro-life" should not be confused with efforts by Liberals to place moratoriums on capital punishment, prevent collateral damage during war, prevent supposedly "unnecessary" wars, or provide healthcare to the uninsured. |
progressive tax
1. A tax policy that taxes the wealthy at a higher rate than the middle and lower economic classes. According to great conservative thinker Grover Norquist, a so-called progressive tax policy is morally equivalent to the mass murder of Jews during the Nazi Holocaust. |
Project for the New American Century (PNAC)
1. This organization does not exist and any attempt to learn about its history, mission, and/or current and former members is a traitorous act and a clear symptom of an irrational and conspiratorial mind stricken with Bush Hatred.
Suggested article: The Project for the New American Century |
protest
1. A gathering of unwashed tie-dye wearing hippies whose idea for recreation during their unemployment is to walk around with signs, block traffic, burn American flags, and complain about things that in reality are perfectly fine. The worldwide protest of over ten million people in dozens of countries on February 15, 2003 to prevent the Iraq War made clear that there are far more unwashed tie-dyed weed-smoking unemployed hippies infesting the world than previously thought.
Matters of war are frequently cause for large protests. American war protestors fail to understand that U.S. soldiers have fought and died throughout American history to preserve their freedom to speak out against the government, and would not take kindly to having their sacrifice dishonored by people speaking out against the government. |
protestor
1. A person, usually a Liberal, who abuses their freedom of speech by speaking freely. |
public education (or public schools)
1. The system of schools in the United States established with the purpose of teaching children how to take standardized tests.
2. The nation-wide array of Christian fellowship halls where children gather to pray and learn about the Ten Commandments.
3. The flawed and inefficient system of education made up of an alarming number of failing schools, which are most frequently located in poor neighborhoods lacking sufficient tax revenue to adequately fund their education. Such school districts must be held accountable by further decreasing their funding until their performance is consistent with adequately funded school districts.
See also: No Child Left Behind Act |
public opinion
1. An important factor in a democratic society, which frequently determines the survival or demise of government policies. Public opinion may be changed as necessary with skilled political campaigns in order to achieve the desired outcome most beneficial to the Republican Party and its donors and hence, the public. |
Purple Heart
1. An award bestowed on soldiers who are wounded or killed during military conflict. The Purple Heart has historically been an honor deserving of respect for the sacrifice suffered by the recipient, but thanks to the courageous veterans of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, we know that soldiers earning the Purple Heart may be liars and cowards who should be mocked accordingly. |
|
|
