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Halliburton
1. A patriotic corporation whose tireless dedication to the United States and our troops is demonstrated by their willingness to receive no-bid government contracts from their former CEO Dick Cheney. The enormous profits enjoyed by Halliburton executives reaped from the aftermath of war are little comfort in their constant sacrifices on the battlefield. The unavoidable confusion brought on by the fog of war has taken a significant toll on Halliburton executives, causing them to consistently overcharge the government and mistakenly take kickbacks from subcontractors. |
happy holidays
1. The greeting preferred by God-hating Liberals during the Christmas season, supposedly to offer good tidings to people of various beliefs. In reality, to say "happy holidays" instead of "merry Christmas" is an assault on Christianity, Christians, and God in a campaign to establish a godless culture in the United States and kill Jesus. |
hate speech
1. Dangerous speech resulting from irrational feelings of hatred toward the United States and wealthy Americans such as criticism of the War on Terror and President Bush's tax cuts. |
Healthy Forests Initiative
1. A Bush Administration policy to reduce the threat of forest fires in many remote communities in America. As the two components that cause forest fires are, of course, forests and fire, former timber industry lobbyist Mark Rey cleverly authored the initiative to eliminate forests, making forest fires impossible.
Suggested article: President Bush and the Environment |
Heaven
1. A place of paradise where those who were saved by their Christian faith spend eternity after death. Heaven is a place free of hate and suffering where corporations go about their business without the meddling of government bureaucrats, and shoppers enjoy the low, low prices of Wal-Mart and travel streets of gold in luxurious S.U.V.s.
See also: Hell |
Hell
1. A place of infinite suffering where those who shook their fist at God and rejected Jesus Christ (or never heard of him) spend eternity after death. Hell is a place of unending pain and misery where lost souls are forced to receive affordable healthcare and drive energy efficient cars on streets of fiery brimstone.
See also: Heaven, Christianity |
Hitler, Adolf
1. The most infamous man of the modern era, dictator of Nazi Germany, and mass murderer of millions of innocent people, most notably Jews.
Hitler's persecution of communists and homosexuals should never be mentioned, nor the unquestioning devotion and loyalty he enjoyed from the German population after a terrorist attack on a national monument, nor his strong-arm tactics in forcing a constitutionally troublesome anti-terrorism act through the legislature after the attack, nor his alignment with the wealthy and corporate elite, nor his constant proclamations of being deeply devoted and driven by his Christian faith, nor his denouncement and intimidation of media outlets that dared disagree with him, nor his detainment of people without access to attorneys or courts, nor his decision to launch a preemptive war supposedly for self-defense, nor his invasion of Austria as a "liberator" and subsequent replacement of their government with one friendly to Germany, nor his propagandists' insistence that verbal attacks on him were no different than attacks on the nation itself and assistance to the enemy. Such details are historically irrelevant and bear absolutely no similarity whatsoever to current events. |
Hollywood
1. The beating heart and unofficial capitol of American liberalism located in California, which produces the bulk of American entertainment. Hollywood is infected by homosexual Bush Haters whose mind control of the American public forces millions all across the country to watch its movies and spend countless hours in front of the television consuming its propaganda despite the debilitating effects it is known to have on our families and children. |
homosexual
1. A person who has chosen a life of wicked sexual debauchery in defiance of God and the Holy Scripture, and condemned to burn for all time in the fires of Hell.
2. A member of one of the many diverse groups in America enthusiastically welcomed into the "big tent" of the Republican Party. |
honor
1. The moral strength to consistently deceive and misinform for the purpose of achieving a goal perceived to be righteous. |
human rights
1. The inalienable rights of people, embraced by the United States, that are considered universal regardless of nationality, such as the right to life (when not living above oil resources), the right to be free from torture and other inhumane treatment (when not accused of terrorism), the right to equal protection under law (when not accused of terrorism), the right to be free from arbitrary arrest and detainment (when not accused of terrorism), the right to trial (when not accused of terrorism), the right to be free from arbitrary interference with their privacy (when not suspected of terrorism), the right to a nationality (unless Palestinian), the right to a reasonable limitation of working hours (unless working for a U.S. corporation in a foreign country), and many more. |
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