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Earle, Ronald "Ronnie"
1. Democrat and District Attorney in the State of Texas who engaged in a partisan witch hunt to bring down Republican House Majority Leader Tom Delay with baseless claims. Earle has cleverly prosecuted more Democrats than Republicans throughout his long career in order to conceal his deeply partisan nature. |
economic growth
1. An economic condition in which wealthy Americans earn and keep more wealth than before, and middle and lower class Americans enjoy the benefits of longer working hours for less income.
Suggested article: President Bush and the Economy |
economic stimulus
1. The act of granting tax-breaks, tax loopholes, and subsidies to large corporations and the wealthy in order for them to enjoy greater profits and income, and in turn, economically stimulate the Republican Party with large donations. Leads to economic growth. |
efficiency
1. In government, a cost-effective means of performing operations promoted by Republicans by appointing members of private industry to oversee their former industries, cutting funding for unnecessary government oversight, and ensuring government agencies fulfill their proper role of lending official approval to the perfectly good products and practices of responsible and trustworthy American corporations.
2. In the private sector, the streamlining of business operations by firing as many people as possible while forcing remaining workers to work longer hours in order to maximize profit and hence, contribute to a healthy economy that benefits all Americans. |
electronic voting
1. A method of counting votes in which the vote counting machines are designed by private corporations, may not be inspected by the public or the government, do not produce paper trails for auditing, and prevent meaningful recounts in order to avoid the inevitable confusion that occurs when imperfect humans attempt to count votes.
2. The greatest invention in modern times to preserve our democracy. Voting machines are perfectly designed and any request for inspection, paper trails, or investigations are based on conspiracy theories hatched by mentally unstable people who seek to undermine our way of life.
Suggested article: Republican Electrons Deserve Right to Vote |
enemy combatant
See illegal combatant |
energy policy
1. The government policy of powering the nation and funding energy research that is best drafted by well-rounded and conflict-of-interest free experts from energy corporations and other donors to the Republican Party. |
Enron
1. A corrupt Houston-based energy corporation that manufactured an energy crisis in California and defrauded employees and shareholders out of millions of dollars in stock value and pensions for the financial benefit of its executives. Neither Enron, nor its former chairman Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay, have any relevant ties whatsoever to the Republican Party or President George W. Bush. |
environmentalism
1. The un-American philosophy that the natural environment should be protected from destruction and contamination, which is typically advanced through authoritarian means such as forcing corporations to control their pollution, lobbying the government to fund alternative energy research, and promoting the suspicious act of recycling.
Suggested article: President Bush and the Environment |
EPA
1. The Energy-Corporation Protection Agency, charged with the purpose of providing government support for the efficient pollution control strategies of energy corporations. In recent years, the EPA's role has expanded to protect the interests of chemical corporations as well, and having its appointees vetted by corporate think tanks to ensure it remains beneficial to society as a whole.
Suggested article: President Bush and the Environment |
equal rights
1. The rights of equal opportunity and protection under law for all citizens that were achieved in the United States several decades ago. Any mention of this or related terms in the present day is a thinly veiled attempt by minorities, women, or homosexuals to gain special privileges and discriminate against white heterosexual men.
See also: civil rights |
ethics
1. In government, a set of guidelines to ensure that a spirit of fairness and transparency is followed through the course of operations in order to preserve integrity and public trust in government. When such guidelines are accompanied by consequences for breaching them, such consequences may be removed or temporarily suspended in order to protect the leadership positions of high-ranking Republicans from baseless witch hunts. |
Europe
1. An old and largely obsolete group of nations between Russia and the Atlantic ocean, which proved their irrelevance in 2003 by impudently obeying the will of their people when refusing to unquestioningly support the United States' invasion of Iraq, and arrogantly being proven right on its justification.
See also: Coalition of the Willing |
evil
1. An intangible wickedness and immorality infecting mankind, the source of which is suspected by many Christian leaders to be the malevolent will of Satan, which causes crime, terrorism, homosexuality, taxes, and Bush Hatred. |
evolution
1. The theory ("not a fact") that explains the existence of earth's creatures as products of changes occurring to preceding species over millennia. In the case of human beings, such preceding species include creatures similar to apes. In contrast, the tested and proved theory of Genesis states that human beings, specifically man, and more specifically Adam, were created by God "in His image." And because everyone knows that God looks like a man and not a chimpanzee, the theory (not a fact) of evolution is therefore incorrect and a result of modern scientists willfully ignoring the previous scientific discoveries detailed in the Bible.*
*As eyewitness accounts are unavailable, the exact appearance of God is unknown. However, it can be reasonably assumed that he is identical to Adam, whom he created "in His image." If such logic is sound, it seems reasonable to assume further that Eve was also identical to God, as she was created directly from Adam's genetic material, but perhaps with wider hips and less facial hair. The appearance of Adam and Eve's children, however, are more troublesome. Considering the infinite range of human appearances in modern times, variations of the genetic code of human beings must have began to occur somehow. Otherwise, everyone in the world would be identical not only to each other, but also to God.
One possibility is that Adam or one of his children had sinful relations with an animal similar to a human in order to produce subsequent variations in future generations. To be sure, the Book of Genesis does not mention any instances of Eve catching Adam in an act of depraved sex with a baboon, but the Holy Scripture may not provide a complete explanation for certain aspects of our world as it was not written as a science textbook, but rather a poetic and sometimes symbolic articulation of God's word.
See also: intelligent design |
exit polling
1. In foreign countries, the polling of voters during an election as a means to monitor the accuracy of the vote tallies.
2. In the United States, the polling of voters on election day by the liberal media and other liberal organizations designed to cast doubt on the integrity of reliable electronic voting machines and raise wild conspiracy theories regarding the accuracy of the vote tallies. |
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