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AARP
1. The American Association of Retired Persons, one of the most powerful political organizations in the United States with millions of members, which occasionally works against the interests of retired persons by opposing President Bush's plan to privatize social security. According to Republican organization USA Next, which has hired a former advisor to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, the AARP is somehow associated with the liberal agenda of hating our troops and supporting same-sex marriage. |
abortion
1. The thoughtless murder of an innocent child by his or her mother.*
*The harming and killing of unborn children should only be mourned and denounced when performed as a choice by the mothers. The death of unborn children caused by war, lack of prenatal healthcare to poor mothers, or bodily contamination from environmental pollution is not a concern.
See also: pro-choice, pro-life |
abstinence
1. The only known method of preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexually-transmitted diseases such as AIDS which does not offend God or the Republican base. Accordingly, so-called abstinence-only policies should be strictly enforced without any credence given to birth control, regardless of the actual success or failure of such policies. The prospect of a diseased child being born to an unwilling mother in poverty is far less horrible than the ghastly possibility of people having sex for pleasure. |
Abu Ghraib
1. A prison near Baghdad, Iraq, which under the rule of Saddam Hussein was notorious for the torture and execution of its inhabitants, and its horrendous living conditions. The prisoners tortured and executed at this facility were thought to include many political prisoners.
2. A prison near Baghdad, Iraq, which under the rule of the United States was notorious for the unfortunate but necessary torture, execution, and sexual assault of its inhabitants though the course of bringing freedom to Iraq. The prisoners held at Abu Ghraib were Iraqis taken while fighting Coalition Forces, or guilty by association for standing, sleeping, or bleeding in the general geographic area of people fighting Coalition Forces. |
academic freedom
1. The freedom of public school teachers and state college professors to teach the scientific theory of intelligent design to their students without fear of persecution.
See also: religious freedom |
ACLU
1. The American Communist Liberties Union, a fringe radical extremist organization of over 400,000 fringe radical extremist members, which seeks to weaken the United States by constantly crying and screaming about how all Americans should have "equal rights", "civil rights" such as "due process" when charged with a crime, a so-called "separation of church and state", and many other un-American fringe radical extremist ideals. |
activist judge
1. A judge who undermines the separation of powers described in the Constitution by declaring unconstitutional any laws passed by Republican majorities that may or may not be constitutional. |
affirmative action
1. A racist and unconstitutional policy of granting preference or special privileges to supposedly "disadvantaged" ethnic or minority groups in the academic or professional sectors.*
*Affirmative action should not be confused with the perfectly acceptable preferences obtained through family ties or other connections to powerful and influential people, which have been instrumental in providing opportunities for disadvantaged wealthy children to pursue higher education at places like Yale and Harvard and careers in the Texas Air National Guard, the oil business, and politics. |
AIDS
1. A disease of the immune system that has infected and killed millions all over the world at catastrophic levels, especially in Africa. The realization that AIDS affects more than just homosexuals and blacks makes urgent the need to provide aid to countries that seek to curb the spread of the disease, as long as abstinence-only policies are used, condoms are never distributed, and birth control is never discussed. |
Almighty, The
1. As President George W. Bush is known for giving his personal associates nicknames, Bush frequently uses "The Almighty" when referring to his personal Friend and Advisor, God.
See also: gut |
Al Qaeda
1. The terrorist organization behind the attacks of September 11, 2001. Al Qaeda is headed by Osama Bin Laden, who is driven by a deep hatred for freedom and all things good and American like baseball and Wal-Mart. The details of how Bin Laden and similar individuals were trained, funded and armed in previous decades are completely irrelevant. |
alternative energy (or clean energy)
1. Energy resources such as solar and wind promoted by Liberals and environmentalists as an alternative to traditional energy resources such as coal, oil, and natural gas, with the supposed intent to reduce negative environmental impacts and world aggression related to energy resources.
While these efforts might appear to have merit, the agenda to develop alternative energy should neither be funded nor taken seriously as it may yet be uncovered as a plot to bankrupt patriotic energy corporations and institute an authoritarian rule bent on preventing freedom-loving Americans from practicing their God-given right to consume enormous amounts of fuel. |
Amendment II
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people* to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
* "[T]he people" include those convicted of violent crime, criminals at-large, foreign terrorists, and any others who seek to purchase assault weapons without a criminal background check at American gun shows. |
anti
1. A prefix indicating an opposing position to the term it precedes. "Anti" should be placed in front of favorable terms to describe Liberals and Democrats. For example, people who support same-sex marriage rights should be labeled anti-family, and people who support abortion rights should be labeled anti-life. Labeling Liberals as "anti" also helps to persist the idea that they are pessimists and complainers while Republicans are forward-looking optimists.
Republicans are encouraged to break new ground with this tactic by labeling Democrats and Liberals who oppose Republican policies such as tax-cuts for the wealthy and social security privatization as anti-Jesus, anti-child, anti-freedom, and anti-good. |
anti-family
1. Of or having to do with an agenda in opposition families, such as advocating the right of same-sex couples to marry and adopt children.
See also: family values |
anti-war
1. A general philosophy of pacifism held by those on the fringe far-left who are incapable of understanding that the best way to achieve peace is through constant war. |
ANWR
1. The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, a federally protected wilderness in Alaska. Oil exploration and drilling in the refuge is promoted by Republicans as a means to increase domestic oil production and decrease dependence on foreign oil. According to geological review, if ANWR were drilled immediately it would produce nothing for approximately ten years, and then most likely produce only a trivial amount of oil, making its effect on the United States' dependence on foreign sources insignificant and brief. However, the potential for even a small amount of oil from ANWR is worth the cost of enormous government contracts for the energy corporations that would drill there, while carefully avoiding the dangerous prospect of funding alternative energy research. |
Ashcroft, John
1. Attorney General of the United States for President George W. Bush during his first term. Ashcroft is best known for his efforts to protect American freedoms from terrorists by allowing the government to search business and library records without cause, search and seize private property without a specific warrant, justifying the detainment of American citizens without trial or access to counsel, promoting the ability of the government to conduct secret arrests and strip Americans of their citizenship and constitutional rights when accused of terrorism, and ensuring that all Americans know that criticism of his actions is no different than aiding terrorists.
Ashcroft was a controversial figure whose centerpiece achievement, the Patriot Act, was deplored by the likes of terrorists and their allies in over 300 communities across America that passed resolutions challenging the law.
Upon resigning, Ashcroft boldly stated, "The objective of securing the safety of Americans from crime and terror has been achieved," proudly calling attention to his record of convicting exactly zero domestic terrorists, a number of which most certainly remain at large within our borders, despite weakening and sometimes nullifying constitutional protections in order to fight terror.
Suggested article: John Ashcroft and the War on American Freedom |
Axis of Evil
1. The label famously given by President George W. Bush in his 2002 State of the Union Address to Iraq, Iran, and North Korea to represent the combined threat these nations posed to the United States, and hence all good things in the world.*
*Iraq has since been removed as a threat due to the successful occupation by Coalition Forces despite reports by "experts" that the invasion of Iraq super-charged recruiting for worldwide terrorist organizations including Al Qaeda and has itself become a haven for terrorists.
balance
1. A responsible practice in journalism, when presenting facts that are inconvenient to the Republican Party and their donors, of allowing a fair hearing from people who spin, obfuscate, and lie in order to cloud the issue and prevent the public from being informed.
bankruptcy
1. A clever method of theft recently criminalized by the U.S. government that allowed middle and lower class Americans to steal from poor credit card companies by declaring bankruptcy and eliminating their debts after irresponsibly wasting their money on medical emergencies or food and shelter after losing their job. The new bankruptcy law is a victory for personal responsibility by ensuring that unprepared Americans who suffer large medical costs or unexpected job loss will remain in a state of debt for the rest of their lives.
bias
1. A predisposition held by many liberal journalists to support or denounce a certain point of view, which invariably influences their reporting. Conservative journalists are open-minded enough to avoid this problem, as is the very fair and balanced Fox News Channel. Reporting on events which appears to imply failure or wrongdoing by President Bush or the Republican Party in any circumstance is a reliable indicator of bias.
See also: liberal media, unbiased |
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